©1998 Stoneclave, Inc.

I have visions of death.
Of the world without me in it.
Visions of how I would or could die at any given moment. Flashes of car wrecks, health failure ... it could be anything.

Why the visions? What are they trying to tell me? That life is too short to be screwing around without a clear direction at 32 years of age? Is it so that I'll imagine my last moments on earth and see that I haven't made as important a contribution as I would have liked? Or are these death feelings and flashes telling me ... informing ... preparing me for upcoming major change? A severe and radical change in my lifestyle and the way I view life? Maybe I need that.

I KNOW I need that.

Lately I can close my eyes and see myself living an altogether different life: different friends, jobs, situations, a whole "alternate universe" sort of thing. Weird.

I think subconsciously I'm getting tired of "spinning my wheels" - of living as I have been these past years ... like some sort of Seinfeld-clone ... tired of living as though I were the only one in my own little world ...

Change is needed - a deep and lasting one that I can't really put my finger on at the moment, but that I know needs to be clarified before I can reach the next level in my life's evolution.

Soulhunt'r