NIRASHI
©1998 Stoneclave, Inc.
So often in today's world, people take "love" for granted. In
fact, as many of us know, the word "love" itself is over-used and
under-estimated. We speak of loving as simply another bodily function, someTHING, a word
that oftentimes becomes nothing more than a lowly adjective to describe our satisfaction
with people and situations in life. John "loves" Susan because she "brings
out the best in him" ... Carrie "loves" the way Allan pampers her and
treats her in a special way ... William "loves" Julie
BECAUSE ....
... BECAUSE ...
Why? BECAUSE a certain person makes us feel MORE
special and MORE alive than anyone else ....
So what's the problem?
Weak human relationships ... heartache and suffering
... pain and disillusionment ... lack of fulfillment ... and a deep sense of emptiness.
Take a moment to contemplate and imagine this: your
partner comes home from work. You greet them at the door and ask them how their day went.
On the stove: a wonderful home-cooked meal. On the table: a hand-written note that says
simply "I love you". You dine together, listening intently to each other's every
word, experiencing each other's actions and expressions as if they were your own, feeling
your partner's joy, understanding their sorrow, reaching out and supporting each other in
words, gestures, thoughts. After a while, you prepare the room and offer your partner a
wonderful massage to melt away the cares of the day ... with every stroke, the tips of
your fingers send intense feelings of satisfaction, peace and tranquility to your soul and
theirs. You retire to bed together, and hold your partner tightly. You look deeply into
their eyes, and you realize the person you are holding is so much more than just a
physical being, and you are speechless. Because true love is beyond words, beyond touch,
beyond thought. You fall asleep in each other's arms, and your souls dance and frolic in
the world of dreams, as One. You ARE One ... two distinct beings born of the same Truth,
realizing the fulfillment of that Truth, together.
How many of us have EVER experienced such an intense
feeling of love in our lives? I dream of that feeling often, knowing one day I'll
experience it fully, but not knowing when that day will be.
The concept that I'm about to present is somewhat
controversial -- some may think it quite ascetic, perhaps even unattainable in today's
society - however, I think it is absolutely essential for a strong, healthy and deeply
intimate relationship. I believe that if humans want to experience joy and peace and
fulfillment in ANY relationship, they MUST establish within themselves a strong and
constant desire to GIVE. We must desire no more than the complete and utter fulfillment of
our partner, placing the welfare of others ABOVE our own happiness ... and expect NOTHING
in return. Yes, I said NOTHING. Hmmm ... I can sense a few raised eyebrows, some squirming
here and there ... work with me for a moment. I believe the only reason that relationships
DO NOT work today -- the reason nine out of ten marriages end in divorce -- the reason
there is so much violence and anger in the world -- is that people are unwilling to
"bend", unwilling to GIVE, and extremely selfish. Many of us live in our own
little worlds, and find it difficult to exist with others when contradictions arise that
threaten our happiness and satisfaction. John gets upset because Susan won't accompany him
to the sports shop; Michelle is angry because Steve won't take her to a play at the opera
house ...
... why? There exists an obstacle between that
person and the fulfillment of their momentary desire. I say "momentary" because
these petty desires usually subside once they are fulfilled or once the mind moves on to
another desire.
So what can we do? Isn't the DESIRE for happiness
one of the biggest driving forces in a human life? Of course it is. But if we want to
reach the next level in our relationships, not only with our loved ones but with our
friends and co-workers as well, we need to start peeling away the thick film of
separateness that shuts us off from others ... we need to open ourselves to a higher
purpose, one in which OUR happiness is interdependent upon the happiness we bring to
others. Note that I am NOT saying our happiness should depend totally on other people --
this is not only a dangerous belief, it is also one that can cause serious mental and
emotional deficiencies -- I AM saying that a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment
and true joy can be experienced when we become more willing to share of ourselves with
others, UNCONDITIONALLY.
I read somewhere that NIRASHI is the Hindu word for
"having no attachments" - when we have too many expectations and are caught up
in the results of our relationships, our work, our lives, we inevitably experience
disappointment, frustration, we become insecure and end up trying to manipulate others in
order to "get our own way". This attitude can spell trouble in any relationship,
and I believe it's the cause of many broken hearts.
Many of us have had relationships that served no
purpose but to satisfy our basic physical desires, some that brushed away our fear of
loneliness for a while ... but have we ever experienced the deep and abiding joy that
accompanies unconditional love?
I only remember feeling a small part of that joy
whenever I gave of myself completely without caring whether or not I got something back in
return - the true fulfillment came as a result of my partner's happiness.
That's a sensation I wish I could share with the
world.
Why not begin today to break free from the ageless
conditioning of human "give and take", of "I'll do THIS if you do
THAT"? Take some time today and do something for your partner - something they'll
deeply appreciate and enjoy, something that will make them feel truly loved - and expect
nothing in return. Do it JUST BECAUSE. When they look into your eyes and ask quizzically
"What brought THIS on?", simply smile and say "NIRASHI!"
Soulhunt'r |
