alt.smokers.pipes FAQ
[Revised 1 January 1998]
OUTLINE
1. Introduction.
1.1 Posting Guidelines.
1.2 What should I do when I see an "inappropriate" post?
2. Beginning pipe smoking.
2.1 How do I select my first pipe?
2.2 How do I select my first tobacco?
2.3 How do I store my tobacco?
2.4 How do I "break in" a pipe?
2.5 How do I "pack" my pipe?
2.6 How do I light my pipe?
2.7 How do I keep my pipe lit?
2.8 How do I clean my pipe?
2.9 Why is my tongue "charred"?
2.10 Why is my pipe "gurgling"?
3. "Advanced" topics.
3.1 How do I ream my pipe?
3.2 What can I do when my pipe "turns sour"?
3.3 How can I fix a loose stem?
3.4 What should I do with a stem that's too tight?
3.5 How should I polish my stems?
3.6 How do I care for my meerschaum?
3.7 Why do people buy expensive pipes?
3.8 Is pipe smoking bad for me?
3.9 Should I store my pipe with a cleaner in the stem?
3.10 How do I smoke "flake tobaccos"?
3.11 Does tobacco improve with age?
4. Pipe resources on the 'Net.
5. Acknowledgements, etc.
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This is the alt.smokers.pipes Frequently Asked Questions
document. Its purpose is to provide an introduction to the newsgroup
and to present some general information on the Fine Art of Pipe
Smoking. Please keep in mind that pipe smoking is indeed an art and
not a science. There is no "wrong" way to smoke a pipe, just as
there is no single "right" way. You will not learn how to smoke a
pipe by reading this or any other source of information; you will
only learn by doing. The suggestions here are just that; your
mileage may vary. The key is to relax and enjoy yourself. If
your technique works for you, then it's right!
This FAQ will be posted biweekly to alt.smokers.pipes, and is
archived at:
http://www.atlcom.net/~drlathem/pipes/asp_faq.txt
and on the Pipes Web Page at:
http://www.pipes.org/asp_FAQ.html
Suggestions for improvement should be directed to:
mlathem@telis.org
Requests for clarification or expansion of specific points should
be posted to alt.smokers.pipes. You are to be congratulated, by
the way, for reading the FAQ before posting.
You are welcome to post on alt.smokers.pipes. If you're new to
USENET, or to the Internet in general, you might want to take a peek
at the sites listed below.
AOL's Internet Development and Outreach Team's "netiquette" (Internet
etiquette) guide:
http://www.idot.aol.com/netiquette/
RFC1855, a comprehensive list of "Netiquette Guidelines":
http://www.cybernothing.org/cno/docs/rfc1855.html
"Net Lingo" (commonly used terms on the Internet):
http://www.netlingo.com/
Just about anything related to pipe smoking is welcome on
alt.smokers.pipes. That includes, but is not limited to, discussions
of the merits of specific pipes and pipe manufacturers, tobaccos,
tobacco manufacturers and tobacco suppliers, pipe related esoterica,
etc. We ask that posts be limited only to tobacco smoking. Other
smoking substances have their own groups and venues and we would
encourage you to go there to discuss them.
Commercial advertising is generally discouraged in this group,
with some exceptions. Posts of an informative nature by individuals
not directly connected to a commercial concern (for example, "Outfit
'a' is having a sale on Tobacco 'b'" or "Tobacconist 'c' has pipes
'd' in stock at price $ x.xx") do not fall into the commercial
category and are perfectly welcome. It is also the majority opinion
that *brief*, periodic (i.e. once or twice a month) notices from pipe
and tobacco vendors who maintain a continuous presence on the 'Net
(for example, "I just received a new shipment of straight grained,
enamel-coated Albanian Widget-Pipes; if interested, see my web page
at http://www.bogus-pipes.zzz/ for photos") are acceptable as well.
Buy/sell/trade lists from private individuals are also allowed, in
moderation. NOTE: if you are in the practice of selling pipes on a
continuous or semi-continuous basis, then you should consider
yourself a commercial vendor and follow the appropriate rules,
whether or not you hold a business license. I feel this is a
liberal and generous policy; please don't abuse it.
Binary messages should not be posted to alt.smokers.pipes.
(For those who don't know what a "binary" is, a "binary" is any file
that is not plain ASCII and includes, but is not limited to .gifs,
..jpgs, .zip'd or otherwise compressed files, and word processor
documents.) In fact, binary messages are not permitted in any
discussion group unless specifically allowed by the charter. The
members of a.s.p. have decided that binaries are not appropriate for
this group. This decision was made after long debate and a public
vote; please observe it. There is an "alt.binaries.*"
hierarchy, and any binaries should be posted there. Unfortunately,
the binary groups are not available from all ISPs. In that case the
binary file should be placed at some web or ftp site. In any event,
announcements such as "I've placed xxx at yyy, please take a look
at it" are appropriate to post in alt.smokers.pipes.
Political discussions are tolerated on the group, so long
as they relate directly to pipe smoking and pipe smoking issues.
Just do your best to be reasonably polite to the opposition when
discussing these emotionally-charged issues.
Cross-posting to more than one group is a bad habit, although
the consensus seems to be that this is not a breach of net etiquette
until the number of groups becomes too large (whatever that means).
The problem is that follow-ups to that message are also posted to
each group and huge snowballing flame wars erupt and rage
interminably. These flame wars are of no interest to the thousands
(or even millions?) of people who read the victim groups. Before
you post a response to a message, please check the headers to see if
the original message was cross-posted. When following-up to a
cross-posted message, always try to edit the header and post only to
the group you actually read. Readers of the other groups will,
sadly, miss your contributed wisdom.
Finally, we take great pride in the fact that a.s.p. is one of
the most civil USENET newsgroups. While intelligent debate is
perfectly acceptable, flames and personal attacks are not. We're
all human, and tempers will inevitably flare, but please think twice
before posting a response in the heat of the moment. When in doubt,
take it to e-mail.
First, DO NOT POST A FOLLOW-UP TO THE GROUP. This merely
contributes to the problem. Examples of inappropriate posts and
suggested responses are listed below.
TROLLS. "Trolls" are messages from people who derive perverse
pleasure from driving others to anger. Often, these people will
make a brief, inflammatory statement, then sit back to watch the
sparks fly. How do you know if a message is a troll? If you think
it might be, it probably is. RESPONSE: Ignore them completely. If
you simply MUST respond, do it privately, via e-mail.
WRONG GROUP. Sometimes, somebody will make an honest mistake and
post a message to the wrong group. Most people don't take the time
to read FAQs, so they are sometimes ignorant of what is considered
appropriate for a specific group. A "wrong group" post can also
result from a response to a cross-posted message. RESPONSE: Send an
e-mail politely directing them to the appropriate group. Some
relevant examples are listed below:
cigar smoking alt.smokers.cigars
general smokers' issues alt.smokers
non-smokers' issues alt.support.non-smokers
quitting smoking alt.support.stop-smoking
drugs (legal and otherwise) alt.drugs.*
BINARIES. (See "posting guidelines" above.) RESPONSE: Politely
ask the offender via e-mail not to do this, perhaps including a copy
of the relevant portion of this FAQ.
FREQUENT REQUESTS. These are not inappropriate per se, but they
do increase traffic and are a burden for those who would like to help
newcomers and others just looking for information. RESPONSE: Direct
them to this FAQ, or to one of the many sources of information
available on the Internet.
SPAMs. These are messages blasted to a large number of groups,
which the offender DOES NOT READ, often advertising a marginally
legal method to "MAKE MONEY FAST." (Use of the word "SPAM" in this
context, by the way, is derived from a Monty Python comedy skit.)
The people who post these sorts of messages are the scum of the
earth. USENET was designed on the "honor" system, and some people
have none. RESPONSE: IT IS POINTLESS TO REPLY to the message by
posting to the newsgroup; the offender will never see your reply.
If you want to reply privately by e-mail, that is your business.
Be aware that many such messages have bogus return addresses so that
you cannot reply. The best way to complain is to send e-mail to
the postmaster at the offender's site. For example, if the message
is from "nitwit@somesite.com", then complain to
"postmaster@somesite.com". Again, because the sender's address may
be bogus, you have to inspect the headers to see where it is really
coming from. Even those headers may be forged. Copy the entire
message, including all of the headers, and send it to the
postmaster, who will immediately understand the problem. Use
use the original subject line, prefixed with "(SPAM)." I sometimes
receive replies, saying "That user has been warned," or "That
account has been canceled." (I will admit, with a tiny amount of
guilt, that such responses often give me great pleasure.)
However, I suspect many complaints go directly to the bit bucket.
There are several groups in the "new.admin.net-abuse.*" hierarchy
for news of and comment on these abuses. Some other useful resources
are listed below.
Net Abuse FAQ:
http://www.cybernothing.org/faqs/net-abuse-faq.html
alt.spam FAQ (how to find the origin of a fake post or e-mail):
http://digital.net/~gandalf/spamfaq.html
TEST MESSAGES. Messages of the form "Test, don't read, please
ignore" are not appropriate in any discussion group. The response
to these should be the same as that for "wrong group" posts. If you
need to test your newsreader, there is a group, alt.test,
specifically for that purpose. In fact, many geographic domains
maintain *.test newsgroups, and it is recommended that you use the
one "closest" to you. NOTE: Many automatic mailers watch
alt.test and will bombard you with copies of your test message. To
avoid that, include the word "ignore" anywhere in your "Subject:"
line.
The flippant answer to this is: "Pick one you like!" The more
complete answer is that choosing a pipe is no less difficult than any
other major life altering decision.
MATERIAL. For your first pipe, you'll probably want one made of
briar. "Briar" is wood from the burl (that portion between the root
and the trunk) of the white heath (Erica arborea), a small tree or
bush that grows in the Mediterranean region. Briar is durable, heat-
resistant, and pleasing in appearance. There are other materials--
such as clay, meerschaum, porcelain, etc.--that are also used to make
pipes, but these materials are fragile and lack the smoking
characteristics and ease of use of briar. Corncob pipes are the
least expensive option for a first pipe; however, they often have
very small bowls and brittle plastic "stems" (the part that goes in
your mouth) that are remarkably easy to bite through. Most briar
pipes have stems made of vulcanite (rubber) or lucite; either
material works fine, and stem material is purely a matter of
personal choice. Vulcanite is softer, which many find more
comfortable, but lucite is more durable and is resistant to
oxidation.
PRICE. Pipes range in price from a couple of dollars to a few
thousand; it is recommended that you stay closer to the lower end of
this range for your first pipe. If you look hard enough, a
serviceable pipe can be had for as little as $30 or so. By
purchasing a moderately-priced pipe, you will not be out a large sum
if you determine that pipe smoking isn't for you. Avoid very small
pipes, as they tend to smoke hot, and very large ones, as they are
often harder for a novice to keep lit, and may hold too much tobacco
for you to comfortably finish. Do not purchase one of those pipes
you find in plastic bubble packaging in your local discount store,
but seek out a tobacconist and ask for his or her recommendation.
If you don't know where to find a reputable tobacconist, check the
Pipes Digest Resource Guide at:
http://www.pipes.org/resource_guide.html
or ask the group for a recommendation. While you're buying the
pipe, pick up a package of pipe cleaners (the soft, cotton ones are
best for most purposes), and a cheap "pipe tool" or "tamper"; you'll
need them.
FILTERS. You don't need them. You should not be inhaling
the smoke, so a filter is superfluous. One major drawback to most
filtering systems is that they tend to affect the taste of the
tobacco (for the worse) if not kept meticulously clean.
SHAPE. This is purely a matter of personal taste. Many pipe
smokers prefer pipes that are bent, as they "hang" easier, putting
less strain on the teeth and jaw. Personally, I prefer straight-
stemmed pipes, predominately for aesthetic reasons, but also because
it is easier to insert a pipe cleaner to absorb the condensate that
occasionally collects in the shank (the part of the pipe that
connects the bowl to the stem) while smoking. For a detailed
study of pipes shapes and pipe anatomy, see The OoOPS Guide to
Identifying Pipes:
http://www.fujipub.com/ooops/pipeshap.html#menuidentifying
SECONDS. A "second" is a pipe that has some kind of cosmetic
flaw. You can find some excellent pipes at a reduced price because
they have surface flaws ("pits" or putty "fills" in the briar,
imperfect carving etc.) that do not affect the smoke at all.
For your first pipe, the appearance of the pipe is not near
as important as the shape and size of the pipe. Most inexpensive
pipes that you will find at your tobacconist are "seconds."
ESTATE PIPES. In the pipe smoking community, "estate" is a
euphemism for "used." By buying an estate pipe, it is possible to
get a high quality pipe for much less than it would cost new. (It is
also possible to buy a piece of junk at a greatly inflated price, so
caveat emptor applies.) While these pipes are usually thoroughly
cleaned before they are sold, some people are appalled at the idea of
smoking a pipe that was smoked by someone else. I often wonder if
these people bring their own silverware to restaurants. It should be
noted that the previous owner's smoking habits will have at least
a minor affect on the "taste" of the pipe. This is the primary
reason why I personally prefer new pipes over their pre-smoked
counterparts.
This is question lends itself to the flippant answer given in
section 2.1 above. If you have had experience with only cigarettes
and cigars, you're in for a real treat. The variety of pipe tobaccos
is positively staggering, and the flavor of a blend is influenced not
only by its component tobaccos, but also by a multitude of other
factors such as the style of cut and the pipe used to smoke it.
The only way to determine which sort of tobacco is right for you is
to try a number of very different blends to decide which general
type you like, and then proceed from there. Some of us are
constantly searching for *the* perfect blend, affectionately known
as "The Holy Grail."
DRUGSTORE TOBACCOS. Generally, you will be better off avoiding
most commercially available or "drugstore" tobaccos. These blends
are almost always made from very low quality tobacco, and the
additives with which they are laced for preservation and "taste
enhancement" tend to alter the way a tobacco smokes, almost always
for the worse.
AROMATICS VS. NON-AROMATICS. These are the two broadest
subdivisions of pipe tobaccos. Most beginning smokers will
tend to go for an "aromatic" tobacco, which has been "cased"
or "topped" with flavorings such as vanilla, cherry, etc., while
those converting from cigars or cigarettes often prefer an
"non-aromatic" or "natural" tobacco.
AROMATICS. A good aromatic tobacco is lightly cased or topped
with a natural flavoring. The caution is that aromatics tend to be
moister tobaccos, which can result in a hotter smoke. This can be
remedied with care in the preparation of the tobacco and the pack of
the pipe. Aromatics tend to offer a sweeter (almost candy-like
according to some, myself included) smoke.
NON-AROMATICS. These are tobaccos that contain no flavored
additives; in fact, a good non-aromatic will contain no additives
whatsoever, other than perhaps a bit of water. [SIDE NOTE: You may
see the word "English" used as a descriptor for non-aromatic or
natural blends. To the purist, an English blend contains only
Virginias and latakia (described below), but the term is used in a
broad sense by some to refer to almost any additive-free tobacco (at
one time, British law prohibited adulterants in tobacco). Typically,
however, the term is used to describe a natural blend that contains
latakia.]
COMMON TYPES OF TOBACCO.
BURLEY. A low-sugar, high nicotine, slow-burning tobacco
with little flavor of its own, burley is often used as a base
for aromatics or to modify the burning characteristics of a
natural blend.
CAVENDISH. A term with a variety of meanings. Generally,
a cavendish is "sweetened" in some way, either by a processing
technique or by additives, or both.
LATAKIA (pronounced lah-tuh-KEE-uh). A "spice" tobacco
that is cured over the smoke of particular types of wood.
(You may read that it is cured over fires fueled by dried camel
dung, but this is not the case.) Latakia has a distinctive
"smoky" taste and a pungent aroma that some find very pleasant
and others find just the opposite. Latakia adds body and depth
to the flavor of many natural blends.
ORIENTALS. By definition, "Orientals" are those tobaccos
indigenous to the Near East, including the various "Turkish"
tobaccos and latakia. An "Oriental blend" contains at least
one and often several of these tobaccos.
PERIQUE (pronounced puh-REEK). Another "spice" tobacco
grown only in St. James Parish, Louisiana. Perique is
subjected to extreme pressure and is allowed to ferment as it
is cured, which results in a very potent, distinctive tobacco.
Like cayenne pepper, a little goes a long way.
TURKISH. Any of a number of tobaccos grown in numerous
locales throughout the eastern Mediterranean region. Common
"Turkish" varieties include Basma, Smyrna, Xanthi, Samsun,
Izmir, Drama, and Yenidje. Generally, these names are derived
from the region in which they are grown.
VIRGINIA. Despite the name, Virginias are grown in
numerous locales. There are several varieties of Virginias, but
all are characterized a relatively high sugar content.
Virginias are often used as the base tobacco in blends, but they
are smoked "straight" as well. Straight Virginias undergo
changes in flavor as they age, similar to fine wines. Lighter
in body than Oriental blends, they have a subtle complexity of
flavor that makes them a favorite of many experienced smokers.
The moisture content of a tobacco affects the way it smokes and
tastes; a tobacco that is too moist or too dry will not offer a
pleasing smoke. One way to determine if your tobacco has the proper
level of moisture is the "pinch test." Take a pinch of your tobacco
and squeeze it tightly for a couple of seconds. Drop it on a paper
towel. If it immediately starts to "unravel," your tobacco is in good
shape. If it stays in a tight clump, it is too wet. If it crumbles,
it is too dry.
Tobacco purchased in tins should retain its moisture for several
weeks after opening. Blends purchased in "bulk," or tinned tobaccos
that are to be stored for many weeks or months after opening should
be stored in some type of container. Standard "ziplock" sandwich
bags are not airtight, and your tobacco will dry out over time if
they are used for storage. Similar bags designed for use in the
freezer are better, but still aren't completely satisfactory for
anything other than relatively short term storage. Some people
advocate the use of multiple bags in a Tupperware container or
"Mason" jars. Both of these methods are satisfactory; however, the
best option from my experience is a bail-top jar with a rubber
gasket.
If your tobacco is too moist, you can leave the container open
slightly, while monitoring it closely. If your tobacco has dried
out, it is usually possible to revive it. (There is point a point
beyond which no amount of re-moistening is going to restore the
flavor of a tobacco, but that time span is generally measured in
years.) Some advocate placing a slice of apple or potato in the
tobacco container. This will work, but you run the risk of
introducing mold with this technique. Unlike cheese, the flavor of
tobacco is not improved by mold, and once your container has been so
contaminated, it is almost impossible to rid it of the mold spores
that will continue to infest any tobacco placed in that container in
the future. A much safer method is to lightly "spritz" a tiny amount
of water into the container and reseal it for a day or two, or
purchase a ceramic humidifying disk from your tobacconist and place
it in the storage container.
The process of "breaking in" a pipe serves two functions.
First, all of the saps, resins, acids, and other nasty things that
have remained in the briar are driven out. Second, a "cake"--the
layer of charred residue that builds up inside the bowl as tobacco is
smoked in it--is developed. This cake protects the bowl of the pipe
from the heat of burning tobacco and helps absorb the moisture that
results from combustion. It should be noted that most of the
information in this section applies to briar pipes only. Most other
pipes require no break in period, or at most a very brief one.
Additionally, one should never allow a cake to build up in a
meerschaum or clay, as this may cause the bowl to crack.
It is important to smoke a new pipe slowly, to avoid damaging
the naked briar. Some recommend that a new pipe be filled only
one-third to one-half full for the first several smokes, after which
the bowl can be filled a little more with each smoke (I am one of
these people). In any case, you should strive to smoke your pipe all
the way to the bottom each time. Don't try to rush the break-in
period, and don't be overly concerned if a new pipe has a somewhat
bitter taste. Some pipes break in easier than others, and it is not
uncommon for a pipe that is very difficult to break in to mature
into a great smoker.
Some pipes are sold with a bowl coating designed to protect the
briar until a cake is built up (sometimes such bowls are called "pre-
carbonized"). Most pipes, however, are not so treated. While a
"naked" bowl is not likely to be damaged so long as the pipe is
smoked slowly, many people advocate preparing the bowl interior of a
new pipe. Some recommend that the inside of the bowl be dampened
with water to protect the briar, while others recommend honey, or a
mixture of honey and water. In theory, honey will help a cake form
more quickly, but after trying all of these techniques I find that
these days I tend to use plain water or nothing at all.
Finally, do not smoke a new pipe outdoors if you can possibly
avoid it. Even a gentle breeze will cause the pipe to burn much
hotter than it would indoors, which can irreparably damage a briar
that is not protected by a cake. I've never had a problem smoking my
pipes outdoors (after they've been broken in, of course), but if
you're concerned about possible damage, you can purchase wind caps
from your tobacconist which will shield the burning tobacco from the
effects of wind.
The most common technique for packing a pipe is the "three
layer" method. The objective is to end up with a bowl that is
evenly packed from top to bottom; this is done by packing each
layer progressively tighter. Trickle tobacco into the bowl until
it is slightly overfull, then press very lightly with your finger
until the bowl appears half full. Fill the pipe again and press
down until the pipe is 2/3 to 3/4 full. Finally, overfill the pipe
and press the top layer down fairly firmly. When finished the
tobacco should feel "springy" to the touch. If it has no give at all,
it's packed too tight. If a touch leaves an indentation, it is packed
too loosely. Finally, test the "draw" by sucking air through the
unlit pipe; the resistance should be about like that felt when
sipping a drink through a straw. If the draw doesn't feel right,
then empty the bowl and start over. A slightly different touch must
be used depending on the size of the bowl and the cut and moisture
level of the tobacco, but this will become second nature with
experience.
A pipe *must* be packed properly to ensure a good smoke;
unfortunately, learning to do this takes time and practice. In
fact, the art of packing a pipe is the most difficult task
associated with pipe smoking, and this can be very frustrating for
the beginner. I suspect that most people who have given up on trying
to learn to smoke a pipe did so primarily because they couldn't
master packing a bowl quickly enough to suit them. If you find that
you simply can't get the feel for it, you might want to try a method
suggested by Mike Butera. Mike recommends chopping the tobacco,
reducing the ribbons into rectangles or squares about 1/4" long. The
bowl is then packed as described above. While not foolproof, this
method can make the task of packing a bowl much easier for some.
Barring such bizarre contraptions as parabolic mirrors, lasers,
and micro blowtorches, there are three ways to light your pipe: with
a match, with a butane lighter, or with a fluid lighter (e.g.
"Zippos").
The wooden match is the traditional pipe lighting device.
Matches burn cooler than lighters, thereby reducing the chances of
charring the bowl of the pipe, and they will not impart a taste to
your tobacco. Strike the match and hold it for a second or two
while the sulfur burns off. Bring the match to the tobacco surface
and, while puffing gently, move the match around the tobacco in a
slow, even circle. I am tempted to state my opinion that anyone who
would use anything but matches to light their pipe is a barbarian,
but, for the sake of objectivity, I won't. I will say that anyone
who would use paper matches *is* a barbarian, because this is a well
known fact and not merely my opinion <g>.
Butane lighters are more convenient than matches, and they too
will not impart an unpleasant taste to your tobacco. They do,
however, burn hotter than matches, so care must be taken to prevent
scorching the pipe bowl. If you wish to use a butane lighter, then
purchase one that is designed for pipes. Such lighters have an
angled gas outlet that makes it easier to direct the flame into the
bowl while avoiding burned fingers. The technique for lighting a
pipe with a lighter is the same as that for doing so with a match.
Fluid lighters share the convenience feature of butane and burn
somewhat cooler. Zippo makes a lighter designed for pipes that
has a circular hole in the chimney which is placed over the bowl
while the flame is "sucked" into the tobacco. Other types of fluid
lighters may be used as well, but their broad flame makes it all too
easy to char the rim of the pipe bowl. The primary disadvantage to
fluid lighters is that they impart a slight taste to the tobacco.
Some swear that this can be prevented if one merely waits a few
seconds after igniting the lighter before lighting the tobacco.
I can still taste (smell?) the lighter fluid, however, and I prefer
my tobacco sans naphtha. I will, however, admit that the fluid
lighter is the only truly reliable way to light a pipe in a stiff
wind.
Don't be overly concerned if you have difficulty keeping your
pipe lit at first. It is not unusual for even experienced smokers
to have to re-light several times, especially toward the bottom of
the bowl. Try to relax and enjoy yourself--that is the whole
point, after all. You'll find it much easier to keep your pipe lit
with practice.
CHARRING LIGHT. The best way to keep your pipe lit is to get
it lit right at the beginning. Most people light their pipe twice.
Light the pipe as described above and puff a half dozen times or so.
Then tamp the surface of the tobacco down with your pipe tool and
re-light. The first lighting, often called the "charring light,"
will char the top of the tobacco and prepare this surface for the
second lighting which will, with practice, take you through most of
the bowl.
TAMPING. While smoking, ash residue will form at the top of the
tobacco. This residue should be gently tamped down periodically
during the course of a smoke, and prior to re-lighting. The main
reason to tamp down the ash, instead of emptying it out, is that it
acts as an insulator and promotes even burning.
SMOKING PACE. The pace at which you smoke (i.e. the rhythm at
which you puff your pipe) is very important. With practice and
experimentation you will achieve the perfect pace for you. The idea
is to puff frequently enough to keep the tobacco lit, but not so
frequently as to cause the pipe to burn too hot, which will burn
your tongue and may damage your pipe. If you can't hold the bowl of
your pipe comfortably in your hand, or if you can't hold the side of
the bowl against your face for more than a few seconds, then you're
smoking too fast. If this happens, set the pipe down for a few
minutes to cool, then re-light and start again. Someone once
described the perfect smoking pace as one where the pipe is always on
the verge of going out.
Your pipe should be cleaned after each smoke. To do this, first
let the pipe cool and then scoop or dump out any ash and "dottle"
(unburned tobacco that sometimes remains in the bottom of the bowl).
Do *not* bang the pipe against a hard surface, as this may result in
a cracked shank or broken stem. If you must, hold the bowl of the
pipe in one hand and strike the top of the bowl against the open
palm of the opposite hand. Once the bowl is empty, run a pipe
cleaner through the stem until it just enters the bowl and remove
it. Repeat with additional cleaners until they come out clean (many
people, myself included, will use both ends of a pipe cleaner before
switching to a new one). Finally, take one of the used cleaners,
bend it into a "U" shape, and wipe out the ash clinging to the
sides of the bowl. Set the pipe aside to dry completely. Ideally,
the pipe should be allowed to "rest" for 48 hours or so before
smoking it again, but you might have to forgo this luxury until you
have enough pipes to do so.
Periodically, you'll want to clean your pipe a bit more
thoroughly. In addition to the steps above, you'll also want to
carefully remove the stem from the shank and wipe out the "gunk"
that collects in the mortise; a cotton swab (e.g. a "Q-tip") works
well for this task. Some people also advocate periodic cleaning
of the stem and shank with pipe cleaners soaked in alcohol
(preferably some form of grain alcohol), particularly if the pipe
begins to taste a bit "musty." Do not, however, get alcohol
anywhere near the bowl of a meerschaum pipe.
CAUTION! PAY ATTENTION HERE!! Never, ever, ever take the stem
out of a pipe while it is still hot. Allow the pipe to cool for at
least an hour before attempting to remove the stem. Removing the
stem from a hot pipe will result in a loose stem at best, and you
may even end up with a broken tenon or a cracked shank. With that
said, there are pipes that are *designed* to have their stem removed
while still hot. This sort of stem is called a "military bit,"
since pipes such as these were originally designed for military men
(I'm not being non-PC, there simply weren't any military women in
those days), who might have need to stow their pipes on short notice.
The stem's tenon on such a pipe is tapered to provide a friction
fit, and the shank is almost always reinforced with a metal "cup"
or band.
"Tongue bite," a fairly intense burning sensation of the tongue,
is an unpleasant side effect often experienced by the new pipe
smoker (it is also experienced by non-newbies who take up the pipe
again after a period of abstinence). While irritating, it will go
away after a week or so of smoking. If you experience this problem
for an extended period, then you're probably smoking a tobacco that's
too moist, or you're smoking too fast.
This is caused by moisture collecting in the bottom of the bowl
and in the shank. Possible causes of "gurgle" are:
Smoking too fast. Water vapor is a by-product of
combustion, and rapid smoking will produce large amounts of it,
which will then condense in the shank and stem.
Smoking a pipe that is not yet broken-in. The briar has
not been dried completely, and there is no cake, so there is
nowhere for the accumulated moisture to go.
Smoking a tobacco that is too moist. This much is self
explanatory. In addition, some tobaccos, particularly
aromatics, tend to leave more liquid residue than others.
Saliva in the pipe. Salivation is a normal response to
smoking, and this saliva can collect in the stem. Keep your
tongue away from the mouthpiece opening, and try to keep your
mouth as dry as possible.
If your pipe begins to gurgle while smoking, run a pipe cleaner
down the stem to absorb the moisture. This can be a bit tricky with
some bent pipes, but it's usually possible if you put a small bend in
the end of the cleaner and rotate it "just right."
This section addresses questions that may crop up once you have
"mastered" the basics. If you have a question that you think should
be added here, please let me know.
After a pipe has been smoked for a long time its cake may become
so thick that it significantly reduces the capacity of the bowl. In
fact, an overly thick cake can actually split the bowl due to
differential expansion. Ideally, the cake should not exceed one-
sixteenth of an inch (about 1.5 mm) or so. When the cake exceeds
this thickness, it should be carefully reamed. Many pipe tools have
a blunt-pointed (to prevent gouging of the bowl bottom) knife blade
for this purpose. While these will work, it is very easy to trim the
cake unevenly or even inadvertently dig into bare wood. Numerous
adjustable, multibladed reamers are available commercially, and these
will do a much neater job. My favorite tool for this task is nothing
more than a series of short wooden dowels of varying diameters that I
wrap with fine grit sandpaper. Whatever device you choose to use,
work very slowly and carefully to prevent damage to your pipe. The
idea is to gradually shave the cake down to the proper thickness, not
to scrape it out in chunks. If you have more than the usual
number of thumbs, you might want to take the pipe to your
tobacconist, who will usually perform this task for a nominal fee.
A pipe, properly cared for, will probably outlast its owner.
Occasionally, however, a pipe may begin to taste bitter or "sour."
Sometimes this is caused by not allowing the pipe sufficient time
to "rest" between smokes; other times, no cause can be determined
with certainty. In any event, such a pipe can usually be rejuvenated
by applying the "Professor's Pipe-Sweetening Treatment," publicized
by Dennis Congos.
First, find some salt (non-iodized is preferred), some alcohol
(preferably "Everclear," or some other form of near-pure,
non-denatured ethanol), and a place to rest your pipe in a
semi-upright position. Insert a pipe cleaner into the stem of the
pipe so that it just extends into the shank. Fill the bowl to the
rim with salt and drip or carefully pour alcohol into the bowl until
the salt is saturated. Try not to get any alcohol on the pipe's
exterior, as this will damage the finish; any spillage should be
wiped up immediately. Leave the pipe alone for a day or two. After
this time the salt will have turned brown from the absorption
of oils and tars from the bowl. Thoroughly clean all salt from the
bowl and shank and set the pipe aside overnight to dry completely.
Your pipe will now be revitalized, and all traces of bitterness
should be gone.
Even if you're careful to never remove the stem from a hot pipe,
you will occasionally be faced with a loose stem. Often, this
problem will fix itself with time, but if the stem is so loose that
it is in danger of falling out, then something must be done. The
safest bet is to take the pipe to a tobacconist or send it to a
repairperson. These people will have a great deal of practice
performing this task, and they will do it for a very modest fee. It
is remarkably easy for an amateur to crack a shank while attempting
this repair, as many of us can sadly attest.
If you have decided to do this yourself, however, you must first
determine what sort of stem you have. If the stem is lucite, then
the easiest fix is to apply a very thin layer of clear nail polish to
the tenon, allow this to dry, and then carefully sand the stem to
fit. A vulcanite stem, on the other hand, is a bit more complicated,
as you will need to heat the tenon and expand it in some way. There
are a number of variations to this procedure, but the most common one
is described below.
First, remove the stem from the pipe and insert a pipe cleaner
into the stem so that it just reaches the end of the tenon (this
is to ensure that you don't collapse the air hole). Next,
carefully heat the tenon over a match for about five seconds (the
intent is to soften the vulcanite, not melt it). Then *gently* press
the end of the tenon against a flat surface, keeping the tenon as
perpendicular to the surface as possible, taking care not bend the
tenon to one side or the other. After the stem has cooled, test fit
it. If the stem is still too loose, repeat this procedure. If it is
now too tight, then see "What should I do with a stem that's too
tight?" below.
A less radical procedure that has been recommended to me by
several people is to simply rub the stem's tenon against a block of
beeswax until the tenon is well coated. Once this is complete,
reinsert the stem. I am told that after a few smokes the wood of the
pipe's shank will swell slightly, thereby tightening the joint.
If the stem is still inserted in the pipe and is so difficult to
remove that you fear your pipe may be damaged, then place the pipe in
the freezer for a few minutes. This works the vast majority of the
time; however, if the stem still proves too difficult to remove then
smoke the pipe, allow it to cool, and try to remove the stem again.
If neither of these techniques work, then send the pipe to a reputable
repairperson.
If the stem is outside the pipe, first try some sort of dry
lubricant, such as graphite, on the tenon. (I have also been told
that the beeswax treatment described above for loose stems will also
work for an overly tight stem/shank joint.) If this does not provide
satisfactory results, then you'll need to remove a small amount of
material from the tenon. Wrap some fine (400 grit or so) sandpaper
or some "O" or finer grade steel wool around the tenon and twist the
stem gently. Work slowly and carefully, and check the fit frequently
until it's satisfactory.
Vulcanite stems can oxidize, turning a disgusting brownish green
color. This is one case where "an ounce of prevention" definitely
pays off. Avoid exposing vulcanite stems to direct sunlight whever
possible, and wipe off your stems after each use. Periodic treatment
with a commercial solution designed for the purpose is also a good
idea. When oxidation does begin to form, it can often be removed
with a mild abrasive, such as baking soda or toothpaste. If the
oxidation is too severe for this treatment, then jeweler's rouge or a
rubbing compound designed for automobiles will often do the trick.
For truly stubborn stems more drastic measures may be required. An
overnight soak in household bleach will turn your stems black again,
but you should be careful to cover any stem logos with a blob of
petroleum jelly to protect them prior to soaking, and you should be
prepared to apply some elbow grease to polish the stem surface, which
will be roughened after this treatment.
Professionals remove oxidation with a buffing wheel loaded with
Tripoli or some similar abrasive and then apply carnuba wax to
protect the stem and bring out a high shine. Many hobbyists have
similar rigs in their home workshops as well. If you wish to put
together such a setup, consult with someone experienced in such
matters. It's all too easy to "burn up" a stem on a buffing wheel
running at excessively high speed or, for that matter, to catapault a
briar into your face.
First, and most importantly, don't drop it. Meerschaum is
fragile, and it is very unlikely that your pipe will survive a dive
to the kitchen floor. Second, do not allow a cake to build in the
bowl (firmly swabbing out all the ash residue with a bent pipe
cleaner after each smoke should do the trick). If your pipe does
start to build a cake, then ream it out very carefully. Third, if
your pipe has a screw-in tenon (as many meerschaums do), then twist
the stem off with a clockwise motion when removing it; twisting
counter-clockwise could unscrew the tenon, and doing so repeatedly
can strip out the shank. Finally, meerschaum is a very absorbent
material, and does not require the "rest period" that briars do.
Still, I would at least allow the pipe to cool before loading up
and smoking it again.
Many meerschaum aficionados claim that to insure proper
"coloring" of the bowl you should never hold the bowl with your bare
hands while smoking. I have no doubt this is true. I also have no
doubt that I'd much rather have a meerschaum with an unevenly colored
bowl than to have to go through the hassle of holding my pipe by the
stem or (horrors!) wearing kid gloves whilst smoking.
Good question. Will a $500 pipe smoke 10 times better than a
$50 pipe? Probably not. Does this mean the $500 pipe is not a
"good value"? Again, probably not.
Like most things in life, you generally get what you pay for
when you buy a pipe. A number of factors contribute to the price of
a pipe, not the least of which is the amount of time and energy
expended in its production. A machine can crank out a pipe in less
than a minute. A true craftsman may spend a day or more carving a
single pipe, and such a pipe is as much a work of art as it is a
smoking instrument. Smoking these sculptures in briar can provide
tremendous pleasure, and many people are willing to pay for the
privilege. Personally, I would much rather own 10 hand-crafted,
high quality pipes than 100 of their machine made brethren. This is
not to say that it is not possible to buy a machine made pipe that
smokes quite well, and many people would (and do) argue that I
probably couldn't tell the difference between a mass produced pipe
and a handmade pipe of similar smoking qualities if I were to smoke
them both while blindfolded. I'm certain they're right, and I'll be
sure to keep this in mind should I ever acquire the habit of wearing
a blindfold while smoking.
Probably. *How* bad? The jury's still out. Pipe smoking is
certainly the safest form of tobacco use. In fact, a review of the
literature has led me to believe that the risks are, for the most
part, negligible, so long as one smokes in moderation and does not
inhale. This is not to say that pipe smoking won't kill you, but
it's less likely to do so than your automobile. I must note that at
least one study found that pipe smokers live *longer* than non-
smokers. If this is true, I'm sure it's because pipe smoking reduces
stress, and because pipe smokers spend so much time fiddling with
their pipes that they have little time to participate in more
hazardous activities. Still, if you have a strong desire to live
forever, I suggest you forgo pipe smoking (and fried foods, and red
meat, and...).
There are three schools of thought on this issue:
1) Those who do not leave a pipe cleaner in their pipe between
smokes. These people believe that doing so prevent their pipe
from drying quickly and or properly.
2) Those who do leave a pipe cleaner in their pipe between
smokes. These people believe that doing so assists in the
absorption of nasty stuff.
3) Those who compromise by leaving a pipe cleaner in their pipe
for a short period (usually overnight), then removing it to
allow the pipe to dry completely.
Personally, I subscribe to #3 a little over half the time. The
rest of the time I'm a #1, unless I forget to remove the pipe cleaner,
in which case I'm an accidental #2. Bottom line: It really doesn't
matter. Whatever works for you is fine.
Flake tobaccos are those that have been pressed during
processing into a rectangular cake and then (usually after an aging
period) sliced into shingle-like "flakes" about a millimeter or so in
thickness. Most flake tobaccos are straight Virginias. Variations
on this theme include "sliced plug" (typically a flavored burley),
"cut cake," "roll cut" (which is spun into cylinders before being
sliced into discs, and which often has perique added to the base
Virginias), as well as "plugs" and "twists" (which are sliced by the
consumer after purchase).
Flake tobaccos and their kin must be prepared prior to smoking;
this process is known as "rubbing out" the tobacco. The traditional
technique for doing this is to place the number of flakes sufficient
to fill the pipe in the palm of one hand; then rub both palms
together over a cloth or a sheet of paper. An alternate technique is
to pinch the flakes apart with the fingertips; I usually use a
combination of these two methods to reduce the flakes to the proper
consistency. The degree to which the flakes are rubbed out will
determine the tobacco's burning characteristics and taste. The more
the flake is rubbed out, the faster and easier the tobacco will
burn. If you tend to smoke overly fast, or if you intend to smoke
outdoors, you might wish to rub the flakes out less. As with most
things related to pipe smoking, the key is practice and experience.
The answer is a qualified "yes." The stuff you'll find in your
local supermarket and the vast majority of aromatic blends will not
age well, but high quality natural blends, like good wines, will
change with age, usually for the better. Virginias are most noted
for their tendency to improve over time, becoming darker, sweeter and
more full-bodied, but other sorts of blends often show marked
improvement as well. A "fresh" blend will often have a harsh edge,
and the tastes of each of its component tobaccos will stand out
sharply. After aging for a few years, however, the blend will have a
much softer quality, and the flavors of its components will have
"wed," producing a much more smooth, richer tobacco.
Many pipe smokers set aside tins of their favorite blends to
age, dipping into their "cellars" from time to time to sample and
evaluate the blends as they change. It is also common for a smoker
to place into storage blends that he or she has purchased but did not
enjoy, in the hopes that they will improve with time. While this
practice does take a bit of patience, the rewards are almost always
worth it.
There are many sources for information on pipes and pipe smoking
on the Internet, and more are popping up all the time. The two
listed below will get you to all the rest.
Steve Masticola's "Pipes Digest" is a mailing list that is a
"must-read" for every smoking 'Netizen. Send a message to
"pipes@pipes.org" and tell Steve that you'd like to subscribe.
Steve Beaty's "Pipes WWW Page" is the ultimate online resource
for the pipe smoker. From here, you can subscribe to Pipes Digest
and peruse back issues of PD (or use a very efficient search engine
to find topics of interest). There are also links to just about
everything on the Internet related to pipes and pipe smoking:
http://www.pipes.org/
Thanks to Sami Mikhail, who wrote the first version of this FAQ,
and to Mike Gillman, who revised it and later handed it off to me.
I only hope I haven't butchered it too badly.
I disclaim everything. Everything in this document may be
wrong. Don't even think about blaming me if something breaks, blows
up, runs away, or falls off. Face it; life is a dangerous business.
Copyright (c) 1998 by Mark Lathem, all rights reserved. This
FAQ may be freely copied for personal use, and may be posted to any
non-commercial web site, ftp site, or BBS as long as it is left
completely intact, to include this copyright statement. This FAQ
may not be included in collections or compilations without
permission and may not be distributed for financial gain.
--
Mark Lathem
mlathem@telis.org
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